Step 1: I notice that I have an impulse to change someone.
Step 2: I get curious about what values, saboteurs, and other parts of me are being triggered to give me this impulse.
Step 3: I thank this part of me for its service.
Step 4: I consider whether I would like to hold on to this part of me or change it into something else. If the latter, what would serve me better?
Step 5: I create this new part of me through habit changes, practice, etc.
Step 6: I celebrate!
Oh yeah and that other person might change too, maybe because they feel less pressure to defend themselves now. But it’s no longer relevant. Hooray!