Today marks the first anniversary of my first and most powerful nirvana experience. I wish I could say it has had a profound impact on my life. I guess my basic perspectives on the universe and consciousness and mankind have changed. So, ok, I should give it some credit 🙂
But frankly, I’d completely forgotten about it until I saw the date on my calendar. And overall, my habits haven’t changed much. I still eat junk food. I still judge people. I still self-sabotage. I guess the empowering lesson here is that transformation really is about deliberate changes over time, not a one-off reboot.
When I tell people about my “journey” from an engineer to a life coach, I skip the part where I experience nirvana. The real story has a sort of symmetry in its outline:
There’s an alternating of Doing and Being.
But I leave out Part 4 of the story, partly because I’ve found the experience hard to explain convincingly, partly because I don’t want to lose credibility (“I’m one of those woowoo people!”), partly because I don’t want people to think you have to go through a profound experience to change (you don’t), but very often because… I forget. It’s hard to hold on to.
I have a lot of thoughts and questions on the science of the whole thing. And how I can experience it again, and preferably not by hitting rock bottom. But today I just wanted to leave a marker so I won’t forget again…